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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24334318">I wish I was yours</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KesoKeos/pseuds/KesoKeos'>KesoKeos</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I’m yours and you’re mine [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Just some fluff and angst, M/M, Self-Indulgent, Tsukishima doesn’t know, i say it’s sad but it’s not that sad, just a short fic because I felt like it, kenma and kuroo are bros, no beta we die like men, platonic kuroken</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:36:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,105</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24334318</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KesoKeos/pseuds/KesoKeos</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima Kei would be lying if he said that he didn't have a crush on Kuroo Tetsurou.</p><p>He would be lying if he said that he hadn't seen Kuroo across the net in their first practice game and thought he was the most attractive guy he'd seen. </p><p>He would be lying if he said that he hated the sly grins or smirks that Kuroo would give him when he blocked one of Karasuno's spikes. </p><p>He would be lying if he said that he hated the bed hair that Kuroo sported, or that wheezing laugh he had.</p><p>Tsukishima Kei wouldn't be lying if he said he wished he was Kuroo's</p><p>OR</p><p>Tsukishima Kei falls very hard for one Kuroo Tetsurou and doesn’t know how to deal with the consequential feelings</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kozume Kenma &amp; Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I’m yours and you’re mine [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759459</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>138</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was meant to be a One shot, but I split it up into five parts :3 Basically what it means is that the first two parts are shorter since the majority of the plot comes in part 3 and 4. I hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tsukishima Kei would be lying if he said that he didn't have a crush on Kuroo Tetsurou. </p><p>He would be lying if he said that he hadn't seen Kuroo across the net in their first practice game and thought he was the most attractive guy he'd seen. </p><p>He would be lying if he said that he hated the sly grins or smirks that Kuroo would give him when he blocked one of Karasuno's spikes. </p><p>He would be lying if he said that he hated the bed hair that Kuroo sported, or that wheezing laugh he had.</p><p>Tsukishima Kei wouldn't be lying if he said he wished he was Kuroo's.</p><p>x-X-x</p><p>It was a commonly known fact that Tsukishima Kei didn't do love. He rejected every confession he got, and even those were rare because of his salty personality. He didn't talk about who he liked, and never even showed any signs of liking anyone, because he simply didn't like anyone. He had never liked anyone his entire life, except for the occasional glance at a guy and thinking 'he's cute' before suppressing those feelings.</p><p>The first practice game against Nekoma was when he'd first laid eyes on Kuroo Tetsurou. He had brushed the older teen off at first, finding him annoying and a pain in the ass. Over the course of their game, however, he found himself watching Kuroo. There was something alluring about him, something that Tsukishima couldn't help but like. </p><p>It wasn't until after the game when they were ready to go on the bus that it registered with himself that he'd been staring. He'd been watching Kuroo once again, but this time the other male looked up and waved, giving him a smile. Tsukishima stuck up his finger and looked away, embarrassed that he'd been noticed. The bus ride home was silent, as he tried his best to ignore Yamaguchi's pestering about why he had interacted with Kuroo like that. He was too busy trying to get rid of the thought of Kuroo, and that smile that he'd been given. Not a smirk, not like the sly looks that he'd been given throughout the game, but an actual smile.</p><p>It had been from a distance, but it was still clear in his mind. By the time he'd gotten home that night, Tsukishima still couldn't forget that look. It invaded his every thought, even in his dreams. It was at that point he realised he felt something for Kuroo, and at that point he knew that he was screwed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After that first practice game, was able to somewhat get over that little crush he had developed. As the saying goes, 'out of sight, out of mind'. It would surely be a different situation if Kuroo had gone to Karasuno and they saw each other daily, but since they had no way to be in contact or see each other Tsukishima could bury those feelings deep down inside.</p><p>The weekend training camp came far too quickly for his liking, and despite a part of Tsukishima longing to see Kuroo again, the other parts of him were annoyed with said feelings and wanted to continue to bury them. Nobody aside from Yamaguchi knew he was gay, and he didn't know how anyone would react to the news. His parents were the biggest worry; he could deal with annoying teenagers or people being assholes, but if his parents turned on him then he honestly didn't know what he would do.</p><p>Needless to say, he feared his sanity when their first match against Nekoma began and he wished Kageyama and Hinata were there to take the attention off of him. Sure, they had other middle blockers that weren't on their starting line up, but Tsukishima was the tallest and so stood out a lot. The way that Kuroo was looking at him, sly grin and an amused yet focused look in his eyes... it aggravated him enormously and made him want to yell at him to stop. Tsukishima never yelled. </p><p>Of course, there was also that other part of him that found Kuroo extremely attractive, and he wanted the older male's eyes to be on him. It was a wonder he was able to focus enough to keep playing at his usual standard, let alone keep an indifferent expression on his face. He had never been more grateful for a match to be over, or to see the two idiots show up and steal the show. Even so, he could tell Kuroo was still looking at him whenever he played. Tsukishima had already given up trying to create a reasonable explanation in his head. </p><p>Especially when after each match (when he snuck a glance at the other male) he saw the way Kuroo looked at his setter (Kenma, he learned from Hinata) and the way Kenma looked at Kuroo. It only reiterated the belief that he had deep down that Kuroo wouldn't like him. He was just a tall first year with a bitter personality and good grades that liked dinosaurs of all things. Not many good personality traits — not ones that he would let other people see at least — and not even much skill when it comes to volleyball. Meanwhile, this Kenma guy was intelligent on the court, well loved by his team even though he was antisocial, and good at games. </p><p>He hadn't even spoken a word to Kuroo aside from snide remarks from across the net when they were playing. As far as he knew, his crush thought he was an ass and probably would never want to talk to him, let alone be friends, or dare he say it — more than friends. </p><p>Don't get Tsukishima wrong, he could tell that Kuroo had a... unique... personality too. Even so, he could tell that deep down Kuroo was kind and looked out for his team and the people he cared for. He had good traits that he was willing to show around his friends, even if a lot of the time he was joking around. Tsukishima had hope that perhaps he might at least get to be somewhat friends with him, if the other was willing to see past the walls he put up.</p><p>That wouldn't be happening this trip, though, that much was certain. He was dead set on avoiding the male at all costs, so he didn't make things worse than they already were.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The second training camp came not too long after the first. Once again Tsukishima had been planning to stay away from Kuroo at all costs, as not only would it reduce his chances of screwing up but also would help him to squash these feelings once and for all. The only place he couldn't ignore him was the court, but he found himself getting more adjusted to mentally blocking out thoughts of him during a game. </p><p>The first day was over fairly quickly, though it still seemed to drag on with practise games and laps doing flying receives. Everyone else in the team was planning on more practise, even Yamaguchi, but Tsukishima just didn't see the point. They had been practicing all day, there was no need to force themselves to practice more than that.</p><p>He was walking back to the area of the school where they would be staying, looking forward to having a nice warm bath and heading to sleep. For once he wasn't filled with thoughts about Kuroo, since the thoughts of a bath and relaxing his aching muscles were much nicer. He knew some people were still practising late at night, his own team were, so he didn't pay any mind to the people in the gym.</p><p>"Oi, Megane-kun! Come jump some blocks for us?" That familiar voice, he was pretty sure he could recognise it anywhere by this point. Now Tsukishima couldn't help but pay attention to the people in the gym, as he glanced over and saw that familiar bed hair — he couldn't help but think it looked soft and fluffy despite its odd style — and hair with black and white spikes. </p><p>He really didn't want to deal with Bokuto and Kuroo right now. The pair were obviously best friends, and it was clear from how they'd acted over the meal breaks that they were troublesome. 'Think about your bath, Kei. Bath. Bath. Bath. Kuroo.' "Shit." He swore under his breath, before plastering on a smile and waving his hand in a dismissive motion. "I'm finished for the night, my apologies. Now if you'll excuse me," he told them, looking away and trying to get the thought of Kuroo's legs out of his mind. </p><p>He'd not been paying attention to them earlier in the day, since he was trying to avoid these sorts of thoughts, but looking over now he could see how nice they were (well defined, long- and oh god the thighs) and frankly he was embarrassed that it had come to this. </p><p>He was just about ready to walk off again when he heard Bokuto speak up. "Come on, there's no point in spiking without blockers," he whined, causing Tsukishima to roll his eyes. It was stupid, why did they want him of all people. He wasn't that great, it would be much better to have someone from Nekoma or Fukurodani. </p><p>Glancing back at the two with a bored, slightly annoyed look, he let out a sigh. "Why does it have to be me. Why not someone from Fukurodani?" Don't get him wrong, a part of him really wanted to spend time with Kuroo, but not when he was with Bokuto. It was likely the two of them would just get up to mischief and he was afraid he would lose his sanity if it was just those two and him.</p><p>Luckily, he spotted Fukurodani's setter coming over, and he felt relieved that even if he did end up joining them he wouldn't be completely alone. He knew that the man (was it Akaashi?) was actually calm and responsible. "Bokuto's spiking practise is endless. Nobody in our team wants to deal with blocking since they'll be stuck here for a while, so they left to go to another gym."</p><p>Kuroo nodded in agreement and smirked, seeming to have come up with some sort of idea. Tsukishima hated that he found that smirk hot, and once again was having a minor internal gay panic. He managed to keep a straight face though, and listened to what he had to say. "You know, he may not look it, but Bokuto is one of the top five spikers. It would be good practise for you as a middle blocker," he said, giving him an innocent smile and shrugging. "Besides, I'm busy whipping this idiot into shape, otherwise I would be blocking for Bo. It's your choice, Megane-kun, but I'd consider it a compliment to your skills that someone of Bokuto's level finds you a worthy blocker."</p><p>'Ah, fuck it'  he thought, sighing and walking into the third gym and past the three men. "Whatever, Pain-in-the-ass Kuroo-san. Let's just get this over with," he said, standing on the other side of the net. If he had been looking, he would have seen the thumbs up and wink that Bokuto sent to Kuroo. Akaashi saw it, of course, and just rolled his eyes. </p><p>Tsukishima began blocking for Bokuto, managing to block a few but mostly not being able to stop them. Bokuto certainly was strong, his cross shots and straights were both excellent and almost unpredictable. Even times when he had been certain it was going to be a straight, at the last second the spiky haired male had done a cross shot. That god-awful 'hey Hey HEY!' whenever he got a spike through was infuriating. At least Akaashi seemed to notice his frustrations and gave him a tired, sympathetic smile. "Congratulations, Bokuto-san, you got through all of one blocker," he told his spiker, rolling his eyes. It at least made Tsukishima chuckle when he saw the pout on Bokuto's face and heard him whine about 'Aghaashi!' or some horribly pronounced version of the setters name. </p><p>"How about two blockers?" It was Kuroo that had spoken up, walking over to Tsukishima's side of the net and standing beside him. If he'd thought that focusing when Kuroo was across the net was hard, this was a whole new challenge. They were standing pretty close together, and he could almost feel the warmth from the other male. He could certainly smell him, and even despite the stench of sweat from their many games he found he liked the smell. It was a mix of coffee and baked goods, and whatever cologne it was he'd decided to use to counteract the sweat. Tsukishima almost missed Kuroo telling him to 'take care of Bokuto's straight', and when he'd heard he almost didn't register the words because of his voice. Low and mellow and smooth; he'd just been talking about volleyball but it made his heart beat faster and he wanted to let out a dreamy sigh. </p><p>It was absolutely disgusting, these feelings. As much as he liked Kuroo, he also hated him and how every stupid thing he did seemed to be so attractive at the same time. He didn't know how he was meant to deal with these feelings.</p><p>Tsukishima snapped back into reality when he saw Akaashi about to set the ball to Bokuto, and made sure he'd block a straight if it came. It looked like it would be a straight, but Bokuto commonly changed things up. Sure enough, he didn't do a straight, yet Kuroo had known and he had blocked it. The older teen smirked victoriously, and the spiky haired male pouted once more. "Dammit, Kuroo," he whined, before looking to the blond and frowning. "You know, you're tall and your smart, but your blocks are pretty weak. I feel like I'll snap your arms if I spike with full power."</p><p>"I'm still growing taller and developing muscles," Tsukishima retorted, glaring at him and rolling his eyes before glancing to Akaashi for help. The setter saw and was about to speak up, probably to chastise him for being rude or something (he was experienced with keeping Bokuto in line, after all), but Kuroo spoke up first.</p><p>"If you talk like that, Megane-kun, shrimpy is going to hog all the glory. You two play the same position right?" he remarked, taunting him a little and smirking. Kuroo hadn't been intending to truly be rude, just to motivate him a little more.</p><p>Nobody in the room was expecting Tsukishima to plaster on a smile (the same fake one he used when he was annoyed or taunting someone himself, not a proper, happy smile) and say what he did. "I guess it can't be helped, though, right? The difference in our natural talent is too great," he said, glancing over as some of the other Nekoma members entered the room. "Anyways, it seems that I'm not needed anymore. Night." With that, Tsukishima left the room, heading back towards the main gym where he'd left his knee pads.</p><p>When he got there, Sugawara was about to leave. The third year came over to Tsukishima, wearing a kind smile. He seemed to notice something was wrong, he'd noticed for a while but just never had the right time to say anything. "Hey, Tsukishima. Do you mind if we have a little chat?" he asked gently, gesturing for the tall blond to follow. </p><p>"Sure, Sugawara-san," he muttered, sighing and following him out of the training hall. "What seems to be the problem? If it's something to do with my blocks, I'll do something differently in our next game."</p><p>Sugawara shook his head and sighed softly. "No, Tsukishima. I know something is off, you haven't been yourself lately. It's happened the last few times we've faced off against Nekoma, too. I just want to know if you're okay. Is someone insulting you? I can have a chat to their coach or captain to get it to stop if that's the case," he said kindly, obviously trying to be careful with his words.</p><p>"No, nothing like that. You don't need to talk to anyone," Tsukishima replied quickly, shaking his head. "I'm only telling you this because I feel like you're one of the few people that won't tease me or react badly. Sugawara-san, I'm gay."</p><p>It took the silver haired male a second to register, but when he did he lit up into a grin. "Oh, thank gosh, I was so worried that it was something bad like people were bullying you or something. Not that I think you'd let them get away with it, but still. I'm bisexual, but male leaning. Daichi and I are dating, but so far only you, Asahi and Kiyoko-san know about it. So it's guy problems you're having?"</p><p>Tsukishima only nodded wordlessly, trying not to look too shocked at the revelation. He'd known his two upperclassmen were close, but not this close. "Something like that. I'm almost certain he's taken, though, not to mention the fact that he can be a pain in the ass. I'm screwed, Sugawara-san. Why am I even telling you this? Hell, I haven't even told Yamaguchi about this, even if I'm pretty sure he knows."</p><p>"Don't worry, it's fine! I won't tell anyone, I promise. But I just want you to know that if you ever need to talk about anything, Daichi and I will be happy to listen. I get it's tough, I thought Daichi liked Yui-san, the captain of the girls volleyball team. It was so hard to play with him for a while, I couldn't stop staring at him and it was really awkward. One day he asked me what was up and I confessed everything, and it ended up alright. The point is, I get it, Tsukishima. That's all I needed to talk about, so you're free to go now." With that, Sugawara grinned and left, walking towards the building. Moments later, Daichi and Yamaguchi came out, the older patting him on the back.</p><p>"Nekoma's Captain, huh? Good for you, Tsukishima," Daichi said, walking beside him. "Whenever he's around you look just like Koushi used to before we dated. I'll be rooting for you!" Tsukishima could only watch in horror as Daichi caught up to Sugawara.</p><p>Meanwhile, Yamaguchi was laughing at his reaction. "I kinda figured it was someone from Nekoma, but I didn't think it would be their captain. Who would have known Tsukki's type would be tall, dark and handsome?"</p><p>"Shut it, Yamaguchi."</p><p>"Hehe, sorry Tsukki!"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next day, Tsukishima was tired. Somehow Hinata had overheard the conversation and so spilled it to the group, and the next thing he knew was that everyone in the team knew he was gay, Suga and Daichi came out publicly, Nishinoya and Asahi confessed to each other, and it turned out practically their whole team liked their own gender to varying degrees. The whole group was chatting like middle school girls until the early hours of the morning, the two couples in the room snogging and cuddling, and while he was  grateful that they were all accepting at the same time he disliked having to listen to them. He usually took a long time to get to sleep anyways, which was why he went to bed early so that by the time he was asleep he was still getting enough. He just wanted a cup of proper coffee, a decent breakfast, and some sleep. That was all he asked for, was that too much?</p><p>Obviously not, because as he was moving to sit down with Yamaguchi, none other than Kuroo himself called out for him to come over. Of course, his best friend was unhelpfully a good wingman and 'assured him' it was okay to sit with them. By assured him, he practically forced him to go over there and threatened to tell their team who it was that he liked. Knowing that Hinata knowing who he liked would be a nightmare, he trudged over and sat down beside Kuroo. </p><p>"Bad sleep?" Akaashi asked, looking up from his homework. Gods, Tsukishima wished he had homework with him now. Bokuto wasn't pestering the second year like usual, and perhaps if he had some he could avoid any conversation with the loud, annoying people in the group.</p><p>"I guess you could say that. Our whole room was talking pretty much all night and by the time I finally got to sleep it was only a few hours until I had to get up since Nishinoya-san wakes up early and insists everyone else does too. What I wouldn't give for a proper cup of coffee and not the instant shit over there," he said, yawning and taking a bite of his food. He felt even less hungry because he was tired, so there wasn't much on his tray that he'd brought over. Not only that, his concentration wasn't great since he had Kuroo of all people next to him. He smelt even better now that he had showered, and briefly the thought of curling up in his arms passed his mind. He was sure Kuroo would be warm, and having those strong arms wrapped around him would be nice, too. </p><p>He'd been angry at Kuroo for what he said last night, but now all those feelings were gone and his heart was in control of his sleep deprived mind. He didn't even notice, but he'd been staring at Bokuto from across the table, his mind filling his vision with thoughts of the man with bed hair beside him. If he'd been more awake, he probably would have seen the jealous and concerned look on the Nekoma captains face. It wasn't until Kuroo rested the back of his hand on his that he snapped out of it, jumping in his seat and looking around in a dazed manner. "What?"</p><p>"Hm, you don't have a fever, so I don't think you're sick," he mumbled to himself, moving his hand away and standing up. "Come on, Tsukki, lets get you some proper coffee. It'll be no fun playing against you if you're like this," Kuroo said, taking the blond's hand and tugging it. "Besides, you're obviously not going to eat much and you need some sort of energy." He was too tired to even protest, and got up, allowing himself to be pulled in the direction of the teachers lounge. A part of himself vaguely registered that they were holding hands, and that part couldn't help but be happy since Kuroo's hand was big and warm and felt so nice holding his own.</p><p>He yawned once more, too tired to care that people had been looking when they left. He couldn't help but think of Kuroo, and was blatantly staring as he was dragged along. Once they got there he sat down on the floor, resting his head on the cabinets and closing his eyes. Later he would curse himself for letting his guard down, for letting Kuroo see him this way and for letting the other male baby him. It was frankly embarrassing, what a lack of sleep and a crush was doing to him, but he couldn't focus right now. Tsukishima instead found himself drifting off to sleep, vaguely aware of the sounds of a proper coffee machine in action. The sounds of beans being ground, and milk being heated and frothed.</p><p>A few minutes later, he was awoken by someone sitting beside him, an arm being wrapped around him, shifting him so his head was resting on someone's chest instead of the cabinets. He curled up to the person, yawning softly and nuzzling his chest. It was warm, and even despite physical contact being something that he would usually reject he couldn't help but stay in the warm embrace. When he opened his eyes, he saw a coffee in the person's other hand being offered to him. Glancing up, he saw Kuroo smiling softly at him, and he only accepted the beverage gratefully. No snide remarks, no blushing and stuttering, no elbowing him or any other thing that Tsukishima would usually do. It was peaceful there with the older teen, no signs of ulterior motives, simply Kuroo looking after Tsukishima. It was much nicer than he'd thought it would be, than he'd ever dreamt or imagined, and so as he sipped his coffee (which was one of the best he'd had) he stayed curled up to him. It was a comfortable silence.</p><p>Eventually his coffee was finished, and he was feeling more awake than he'd had before. He slipped out of Kuroo's embrace, placing the cup on the tiles and turning to face the other. "Uh, thanks, Kuroo-san. Sorry for causing trouble for you and interrupting your breakfast. I just really didn't sleep well. Usually I get to bed early enough that when I fall asleep I still get enough to function properly, but I was thinking a lot last night..." he trailed off, looking down. He didn't know what had gotten into him, but he felt that maybe it was a good thing that Kuroo could bring out this side of him. </p><p>"You don't need to be sorry, Tsukishima, and don't worry about it. I'm sorry for what I said last night, too. I hadn't intended to upset you, just motivate you a bit more. You're tall, smart, and you have a lot of potential to be an excellent middle blocker. I truly believe that if you put in the work, you could be one of the next middle blockers in the country and an extremely valuable part of your team. I don't know if it was what I said that was keeping you up, so if it was I apologise for that too. Look, just come back to the third gym this evening. Yaku, our libero, can handle looking after Lev's receives. Bokuto and Akaashi will be there too, but the two of us can do some blocking together. I've been playing volleyball my whole life, I'm sure I can help you improve in some way," Kuroo said, his voice gentle. This was a side of him that Tsukishima hadn't seen much. He'd caught glimpses of it when he talked to Kenma or other people on his team, but he'd never imagined he'd see it directed at him so soon. </p><p>"I think I might take you up on that offer, Kuroo-san. Just... why me? Why not help someone from your own team?" he asked, looking up at him and picking up his coffee cup at the same time. </p><p>"Firstly, just Kuroo is fine, we're friends now, aren't we? And to answer your question, you may not think it but you have a special kind of natural talent. You're intelligent and tall, and because of that you can learn so many things that your shrimpy teammate can't. I wouldn't want to see that go to waste, and so out of the goodness of my heart and your senior I've decided to teach you," he said, giving him one of those sly grins that made Tsukishima question if he was seriously doing it from the kindness in his heart. Still, despite the expression on his face, the look in Kuroo's eyes let him know that his words were genuine, and that Kuroo was actually a really good guy. "Anyway, Tsukki, lets go back. You need to eat, or else you won't have the energy to practice with us tonight and then I'd either be sad or ditch practice to come look after you like the kind soul I am." </p><p>Kuroo stood up, taking the cup from his hand and putting it in the sink, before offering his hand to help Tsukishima up. He would later deny this if asked, but he took it not because he needed help getting up but because he wanted to remember what it was like to be holding the other male's hand. He would also deny that Kuroo had made him blush multiple times whenever he'd complimented his skills. He still remembered vividly what it was like to be in his arms, and that was a memory that he wouldn't be forgetting for a long time. </p><p>They walked back together, making quiet conversation. They were both back to their usual selves, but it was more comfortable than usual. Tsukishima knew that when they bantered, Kuroo understood it wasn't him being rude but just how he was. He knew that Kuroo actually felt highly of his skills, and for once the idea of more practise became somewhat appealing if it was with the other. Maybe volleyball wasn't just a club, after all.</p><p>By the time they got back their breakfast had gone cold, and not as many people were in the room. Bokuto and Akaashi had left already, so it was just the two of them at the table. Tsukishima ate what was on his tray, but was still hungry afterwards since he was feeling more awake now. Still, the breakfast service had been packed up now, so there was no getting more. He looked down at his empty bowl, only to find that more food had been put on it from Kuroo. "I can't take this, this is your breakfast, Kuroo," he said, shaking his head and trying to give back the food. </p><p>The other just shrugged and refused to take it. "You need food or else you won't be able to play, Tsukki. I got too much, anyways, and you barely got anything earlier. Geez, you and Kenma can be so alike sometimes, but then sometimes you're just like me. I'll figure you out one of these days," he said with a smile, turning back to his food and continuing to eat. </p><p>'Just like Kenma, huh? Right, I saw him trying to get Kenma to eat yesterday and the weekend camp we had. I think I remember him telling him how he shouldn't stay up all night playing games, too.' Tsukishima began to realise that Kuroo was probably just looking after him as a friend and that their whole morning meant nothing. A part of him had grown content and happy with what had happened. That same part felt that he was special and that Kuroo really cared and was paying special attention to him, and that he might have a chance. </p><p>He felt his heart clench, and he knew he was so stupid for ever believing that he was special, because Kuroo had Kenma and they had been happy already before Tsukishima came into his life. He didn't move, though, he stayed beside Kuroo and ate because he liked spending time with him and as much as it hurt him to do so. </p><p>As the rest of the day went on he continued to be more friendly with Kuroo, not letting any of the hurt show. He would get over it, he promised himself that it would be the case. Tsukishima would resign himself to friendship and bury his feelings down like he had been doing before. He would hurt, but Kuroo would never have to know how he'd hurt and wouldn't feel guilty about it.</p><p>Still, it was hard to contain his feelings when his heart leapt each time he saw Kuroo, each time he would receive advice on his blocking from across the net even though Kuroo didn't need to do that, each time he saw the smile and thumbs up when he got a good block in. It all made his heart flutter, but also his playing improve as well. It was like his hyper awareness around the other male helped him to learn since he was paying close attention to his every word. </p><p>Hell, he was even able to block Bokuto a couple of times, or get in a touch that kept the ball from falling to the ground. He wasn't perfect, far from it, but he took the advice he got and used it to the best of his ability. Practice would smooth out the faults in his defence. Even Yamaguchi commented on his improvement, and at lunch time he was teased endlessly about that morning, but also when he got a bit more food than usual and mumbled something about 'Kuroo said I need to eat more'. Tsukishima ended up sporting a large blush on his cheeks halfway through, and putting on music to try and block out the world.</p><p>Still, whenever he looked over at Kuroo he was with Bokuto, Akaashi and Kenma. He had his arm wrapped around the boy with pudding-like hair, and was laughing and smiling about some game he watched him play. He seemed so happy and at ease, but it wasn't because of Tsukishima. He was fine without Tsukishima, he didn't need Tsukishima. He grabbed out his phone once again, swapping the music to something sadder. If he was going to be hurt, he may as well do it to sad music and really wallow in it. He simply lay back on the hill, looking up at the sky, and wishing desperately that Kuroo would be dating him and not Kenma, that he would be on the receiving end of that love. </p><p>He hadn't realised he'd let a tear fall until Yamaguchi took off his headphones and pulled him into a hug. "Oh, Tsukki," he whispered, rubbing his back gently and smiling softly at him. "Come on, how about I grab Suga-senpai and we all talk about it in the gym storage where nobody will interrupt us, yeah?"</p><p>Tsukishima only nodded, silently standing up and heading inside. Sugawara and Yamaguchi were there not long after, along with Akaashi who had seen and silently slipped away from the others. The blond was sitting on the floor, his back against the wall of the room. The others sat down in a circle, giving him a moment to calm down a little.</p><p>"I just wish I could be his. I know it sounds sappy and stuff, but I really, really like him. He's got Kenma though, and he's got no need for me being around, and we probably won't see each other again after this week anyways, so I know I don't have a chance. It just hurts knowing that he'll never see me the way I see him. I've never really liked anyone before, and definitely not like this. I just don't know what to do. I've never been one with feelings and if I wasn't so tired and confused I doubt I would be telling you all this anyway," he said softly, refusing to look up. He knew that these people wouldn't tease him, but he still hated being weak and vulnerable around other people.</p><p>"Look, I'm not sure if you know, but Bokuto-san and I are dating. Kuroo isn't an idiot, but he's dense when it comes to how other people feel about him, so he's similar to Bokuto in that regard. He's not going to know you like him unless you tell him," Akaashi said, giving him a half smile and patting his shoulder. "He's a single man. I know it seems like it, but he and Kenma aren't dating, they're just childhood friends, like brothers. He's definitely interested in a guy though, he's been going off about someone he calls 'Moonshine' though I'm not quite sure why. He's been super secretive about it and though he hasn't said who it is to me or Bokuto. My point is, if you really want to be in a relationship with him, you're going to have to tell him how you feel."</p><p>Tsukishima looked up at Akaashi, sighing softly. On one hand it was encouraging that Kenma wasn't his boyfriend, on the other hand he was jealous of this 'Moonshine' that Kuroo liked. He wondered what kind of person they were to have captured his attention. He wondered if Kuroo took Moonshine to make coffee or hugged him or looked after him. "Thank you, Akaashi. I'll probably tell him tomorrow night, that gives me some more time to think through what to say. If he says no, then I only have to ignore him for two more days, but if by some miracle he actually likes me back it means we'll have two days together before we go back," he said with a shrug, looking down. </p><p>Sugawara and Yamaguchi grinned, the latter giving him a hug. "That's great, Tsukki. I know this isn't usually your thing, but I think it'll be good for you," he told him, pulling away and continuing to smile. </p><p>"And though I don't think things will go wrong, if they do the whole of Karasuno will be here to support you. You're our friend first and foremost, but also our precious middle blocker, Tsukishima. As great as Hinata is we need you just as much if not more. You've always been there to hold down the fort when things get rough, and even if we don't say it often we're all grateful for you being on the team," Sugawara said, giving him a thumbs up. "I'll make sure to keep the room quieter for you, tonight. It was kind of a bit crazy, with everyone coming out and all."</p><p>Akaashi just nodded solemnly and gave Tsukishima a half smile. "Please do get some sleep tonight. As much as he was happy that he could be of help, Kuroo was also quite worried about you this morning, and so was I. And besides, I'll be making sure you don't chicken out tomorrow now that you've said what your plans were. If you'll excuse me, I have to go find Bokuto-san before he does something stupid because I left without saying where." The dark haired male waved and left the room, leaving the three Karasuno players sitting on the floor. </p><p>"Are you feeling better, Tsukishima?" Sugawara asked, tilting his head slightly. </p><p>"Yeah, I think I just got a bit overwhelmed and the lack of sleep didn't help. Sorry for interrupting your lunch break," he replied, standing up and brushing off his pants. </p><p>"Don't sweat it, Tsukki! We're glad you can trust us," Yamaguchi assured him, the other two males getting up and leaving the room, the blond following close behind. Everyone had already began to enter the room again to continue practice for the afternoon, so nobody seemed to find it odd that they had been in there or even really noticed them. </p><p>As they headed over to the team to do stretches and warm up before their first game, Tsukishima felt that a weight had been lifted off of his chest. Now, to just get through the games, so he could see Kuroo again that evening.</p><p>x-X-x</p><p>Tsukishima entered the third gym after a long afternoon of games, and he was totally exhausted. Still, they'd had dinner already (spent with Yamaguchi and Suga who insisted he spill pretty much everything about his crush on Kuroo which was both nice yet frustrating), so he wasn't completely done. The thought of spending time with Kuroo again also brought him new energy, though he was still fatigued and probably wouldn't be able to play all night. He walked over to Akaashi, giving him a quiet 'hello' in greeting, and simply nodding to Bokuto and Kuroo who were mid conversation.</p><p>"What, no hello for me? You wound me, Tsukki," Kuroo said, suddenly stopping talking with the spiky haired teen, and placing a hand over his heart dramatically. </p><p>Tsukishima rolled his eyes and shrugged a little. "You were talking with Bokuto-san. Besides, it wasn't like I completely ignored you when I came in," he replied, moving around the net to be facing Akaashi on the opposing side. "Let's just get this going, please. If you didn't know, I'm rather tired and I'm ready to sleep. I'm pretty sure I could fall asleep in here, right now, and I struggle with sleeping. Imagine me after training. You're lucky I somewhat enjoy your company, Kuroo, or I wouldn't have agreed and just went straight to bed." </p><p>Bokuto just shrugged and grabbed a ball ready to send to Akaashi so it could be set, and Kuroo smiled apologetically. "Sorry, Tsukki, but I wouldn't want you here if I didn't think you'd benefit from it."</p><p>"Whatever, it's fine. As long as I get to sleep more than three hours I'll be fine."</p><p>With that note, the group began their practise, Bokuto working on his spikes and Kuroo helping Tsukishima with his blocks. He spent time carefully explaining parts of read blocking to him, congratulating him when he did well and making sure that he also instructed him on how to improve. Tsukishima may have been tired, but he was actually having fun and felt like he was improving.</p><p>They went on like that for about an hour, before he became far too tired to continue playing. He'd sat down to take off his knee pads, but found himself drifting off to sleep leaning against the wall, similarly to earlier that day. Kuroo smiled fondly at the sight, walking over and scooping the tall male into his arms. It was a little awkward since Tsukishima was so tall, but then again so was Kuroo, and the blond wasn't particularly heavy. </p><p>Kuroo carried him to Karasuno's room, Akaashi bringing his shoes, water bottle and knee pads. Once he found out from Yamaguchi which futon was his, he lay Tsukishima down and tucked him in, causing the younger to stir. "Shh, just sleep, Moonshine," he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his head since the bed was in the corner and nobody could see what Kuroo was doing. Sugawara just sent him a knowing look and Akaashi a thumbs up, and Akaashi rolled his eyes but returned the gesture. Tsukishima was just as big of an idiot when it came to seeing Kuroo liked him back, so the two setters teamed up ages ago, now along with Yamaguchi, to get them together.</p><p>It was just a shame that Tsukishima was awake enough to hear Kuroo and feel the kiss, but thought he was dreaming.</p><p>x-X-x</p><p>The next day when Tsukishima came to breakfast, he once again went over to sit with Akaashi, Bokuto and Kuroo. Unlike yesterday, he was greeted with a proper cup of coffee waiting for him. He didn't know how Kuroo had managed to get it ready just in time so that the beverage was still hot, but he was grateful for it. Though he wasn't really sleep deprived since he slept really well, he vaguely remembered the 'hallucination' of Kuroo kissing him and calling him Moonshine and those thoughts were occupying his brain.</p><p>"Good morning, Kuroo, Akaashi, Bokuto-san," he said, sitting down with his tray of food. He picked up the coffee, sipping it gratefully and letting out a relaxed sigh. "Thanks for the coffee, by the way, it's some of the best I've had. I've never really been a morning person, so it helps a lot," he muttered, words only loud enough for Kuroo to hear, though he had no doubt that Akaashi probably understood the gist of what he said. </p><p>Kuroo only smiled at him and nodded, not making too much of a fuss over those words. "I see you slept better? You looked pretty beat last night," he said with a soft laugh, taking a bite of his food.</p><p>"Ah, yeah, I did. I don't really remember how I got back to the room, but I've had times where I've come home and forgotten leaving school because I was exhausted. It's just frustrating that the best sleep I seem to get is when I'm that tired," Tsukishima said, eating some of his own food. "I still remember the stuff about read blocking from last night, which is a relief. It's not like I'll become a master at it overnight, but I think I'll be able to do a bit better today, especially since I rested well enough."</p><p>"I'm looking forward to playing you, then, Tsukki. I'll have to see for myself how you've improved," Kuroo said, with Bokuto humming in agreement through his mouthful of food. </p><p>Akaashi only smiled innocently as if nothing was up and said, "I look forward to it too, but especially our practise tonight. Don't forget, Tsukishima."</p><p>Right. He still had to confess to Kuroo. "I won't, Akaashi."</p><p>x-X-x</p><p>The day previous, Tsukishima hadn't wanted anything more than for the day to be over so that he could sleep. Now, he wanted the day to go on as long as possible so that he wouldn't have to confess his feelings to Kuroo. He couldn't possibly see how he could be this Moonshine dude, and so was certain he was just going to end up heartbroken that night.</p><p>The minutes ticked on, though. Games passed where he saw Kuroo, more time spent with Kuroo at lunch, and then their evening practise where he worked on read blocking. Tsukishima was that nervous that his crush had asked if he felt sick because he wasn't acting like himself and he seemed off. He felt scared and excited; his heart was doing flips inside his chest, though he felt like he was going to throw up.</p><p>He didn't want to be feeling that way, he didn't want to lose the friendship he had with Kuroo. Akaashi was adamant about making his confession happen though, and he had been so worried about it all day that it would seem like a waste if he had been anxious for nothing. And so, as they finished up and put everything in the gym away about to leave, Tsukishima tapped Kuroo on the shoulder. "Uh, if you wouldn't mind staying back a couple of minutes, I wanted to talk about something in private," he said softly, his voice strained. He couldn't look at Kuroo, not until he was about to say what he needed to.</p><p>Kuroo seemed concerned, but he nodded anyways, telling Bokuto to go on ahead and that he would catch up with him later. "Yeah, of course. Are you not well or something?"</p><p>Tsukishima shook his head, biting his lip and looking into those warm hazel eyes. "I like you, Kuroo, more than a friend," he blurted out, looking down as soon as he said those words so he wouldn't have to see Kuroo's face. "I know Akaashi said you like this 'Moonshine' or whoever, but I'm selfish and I wish that I was yours. I've liked you since the first game we played, when I saw you across the net and I thought you were probably the most attractive guy I'd seen. Even when I stuck my finger up at you because you smiled at me, it was just because I didn't know what to do with my feelings. I've never really had a crush before, and I've never been good with emotional situations, so it was so hard." He took a deep breath, continuing to talk before Kuroo could interrupt him.</p><p>"The second time we played, I couldn't help but watch you, even during the games. I liked the way you would smirk and schemed, and even though you still had that bloody bed hair I couldn't help but think it suited you. I'm not going to lie, I hated it at first, along with your laugh, but only for an instant. It's a part of you, and I don't think I could ever truly hate you, Kuroo. I saw the way you treated your teammates, too. On the surface it looked like tough love, but it’s obvious you really care about them. The way you would look after them all with that big heart of yours — I don’t think enough people see how kind you really are.”</p><p>“And then we came here, and we properly talked. Maybe you pushed some of my buttons, but you still cared enough to genuinely apologise. You looked after me when I was tired, because I had come out as gay and then pretty much the whole team came out and were talking about how happy they were that they could all be themselves. It had taken me even longer to get to sleep, because even though I was upset with you I also couldn’t keep you off my mind. When I was falling asleep, you hugged me and just cared for me until I felt better. You told me that you thought I had talent, you actually believed in my abilities when I felt that I wasn’t needed on the team. You spent time with me working on blocking, when you have absolutely no reason or obligation to do so. You’re such an amazing guy, and I could never deserve someone like you. I won't ruin your chances with the guy you like because of my feelings, so don’t worry about trying to make me feel better, but I just thought you deserved to know.”</p><p>Tsukishima let out a heavy sigh and turned around, running out of the building. He couldn’t bear hearing Kuroo apologise and tell him that he didn’t feel the same, since he was so convinced that he would be rejected. Tears began to well up in his eyes, and he let out a choked sob as he slowed down and just began crying. He was so pathetic, crying over a rejection. He knew this was happen, he’d known all along, yet he’d still confessed anyways. ‘Stupid, Kei, so stupid’, he thought, grabbing onto the bottom of his shirt and letting out another sob.</p><p>He was just about to start running off again when he felt a pair of arms around him, and felt Kuroo’s chin on his shoulder, the other male keeping him from running off. “You idiot, you can’t just say something like that and run off without giving me a chance to reply,” he told him, the older male’s voice slightly strained as well, as if he was holding back tears of his own. “You are Moonshine, and you could have been mine from the day you walked into our gym. All you had to do was ask. I like you too, Tsukishima, so, so much.”</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I like you too, Tsukishima, so, so much. There’s no need to cry anymore, my Moonshine,” Kuroo told him, gently pulling away and then walking around so he could be facing the blond male. He gently cupped his cheek with one hand, using the other one to brush away his tears with his thumb. He pressed a gentle kiss to his free cheek, and then just wrapped his arms around him, holding the other male close.</p><p>Tsukishima was confused and hurt and understandably shocked, he honestly didn’t know how to respond. “I don’t understand, Kuroo-”</p><p>“Tetsurou. Call me Tetsurou, Moonshine,” he interrupted, giving him a caring smile,</p><p>“Tetsurou... I just don’t get why you would like someone like me when you’re, well, you. I don’t think I’m nearly good enough to be your Moonshine,” he said, leaning into his embrace and hugging back just as tightly. He felt more comfortable when Kuroo was hugging him, like he could freely be honest and vulnerable and still he cared for just the same.</p><p>Kuroo kissed his head and continued to hold him close, sighing softly at his words. “That’s the thing, I don’t think that I’m good enough for you either, Moonshine. You still said all of those lovely things about me, and especially coming from you it means much more than you know. But you’re Tsukishima, you’re tall, smart, you’ve got the face of an angel. You’ve got this wicked personality, I don’t think I’ve met anyone else that’s so fun to banter with. At the same time, you’re kind and you have this gentle side. I can’t even begin to tell you how fucking cute it was when you curled up to me yesterday morning in the staff room, or when you fell asleep in the gym last night and I carried you back. You just seem so peaceful and I don’t know, but I felt so lucky that I got to spend time with you like that. When we’re practicing and even just when we talk, you listen to me, I mean really listen, and I feel like it’s just me and you and nothing else really matters. I could go on for hours about you and I’m not going to lie, I have done that and I’m pretty sure Akaashi was sick of it. I just really, really like you, Tsukishima.”</p><p>Tsukishima felt tears well up in his eyes again, though this time they were happy tears, relieved tears, since now he knew that they had both just been oblivious idiots all along. “K-Kei, not Tsukishima. Just don’t overuse it, it’s a very rare privilege and Yamaguchi is the only other person aside from family and now you allowed to use it,” he sniffled, continuing to stay close. “Also, fuck you for making me feel all these feelings. I haven’t cried since I was eight, and now I’ve cried multiple times this week. That being said, since you carried me back yesterday I guess I can get over it.”</p><p>Kuroo chucked softly at his words, humming softly. “Well, I’m glad my Moonshine, no, my Kei doesn’t hate me. It would be pretty hard for you to be mine if you didn’t want to be mine, after all,” he teased, loosening the hug so he could once again wipe away Tsukishima’s tears.</p><p>“Does that mean that... you perhaps want to be boyfriends?” he mumbled, a soft blush on his cheeks now that he wasn’t as teary anymore. </p><p>Kuroo laughed loudly at that one, and gave him a massive grin. “Duh, Kei. I thought that was obvious when I was calling you my Moonshine. I would be an even bigger idiot than I already am if I let you get away, when I’ve already been an idiot to not realise that we liked each other. I always imagined confessing first, but honestly you did it much better than I ever could. Rest assured, there will still be awful pickup lines, even if you’re already mine and I’m yours.”</p><p>Kei snorted at the last part and nodded, giving Tetsurou a proper smile this time. It was a genuinely happy one, accompanied by a loving look in his eyes, much different than the fake ones he plastered on or his amused smirks. This was a smile he only reserved for his Tetsurou.</p><p>Tsukishima no longer had to wish that he was Kuroo’s. He was Kuroo’s Moonshine, he was Kuroo’s Kei, and he couldn’t be happier for it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Depending on the feedback I get I might write an actual one shot (with one part and not five) as a sequel, so any comments would be appreciated. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this little work in the great big world of KuroTsuki!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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